san francisco
a year ago today, i found myself in an anonymous hotel room on the outskirts of chicago, the unintended victim of a technical problem with my connecting flight to los angeles – a flight that would never leave chicago o’hare. i had been flying in from copenhagen, after having spent much of the second half of 2007 in denmark and the south of france while working as a production designer on a feature film.
a lot has happened since that day.
i eventually made it to los angeles, albeit 48 hours late.
a. and i took an amazing holiday to a secret location – lavishing in the extravagance of having four days entirely to ourselves.
shortly thereafter, we flew north to san francisco, to attend a.’s office holiday party (the same party that we are going to attend tonight)… a year ago, that party was fun, frivolous, there was much optimism in the air. the company was poised to open a second office in a major market, and was still bringing in new people to take on an ever-expanding roster of clients. a year later, the same company has endured lay-offs while its resources have been stretched thin in this ever-collapsing economy.
in the year that has passed, we rented an additional apartment in san francisco, starting in february, so that a. could concentrate more effectively on her clients that are based in northern california. we started again a life of dividing our time between two homes in two different cities.
we’ve traveled a lot, with very likely at least fifty flights between the two of us between san francisco and los angeles.
we made new friends from our new part-time life in san francisco, expats from paris, who became our steady dining companions and hiking companions. a year later, we will see them again this weekend, but now they are guests to san francisco as they’ve recently moved to manhattan.
down south, we’ve become closer to our friends in los angeles, with the circle of friends ever expanding. it has been a privilege to get to know these very special people.
in the mean time, it has been difficult to bridge the distance between our life here in california and the life that we had in copenhagen and norway. while we had the pleasure of taking another holiday at the family summerhouse in brekkestø in southern norway, and it was amazing to spend time with friends and family, we missed out on chances to see other friends. and, in living over in california, we missed out on many of the daily pleasures and revelations that used to be such a vital part of our life in copenhagen and scandinavia.
to stay in touch with friends in scandinavia is not difficult if it is gauged by intention, but if one uses deeds and actions as the standard by which one measures commitment, then i have failed, to a certain degree, and by extension, i have failed these friends. most friendships are built to last, but there are not many relationships that can endure prolonged neglect. it is something that i hope to improve upon in the new year.
in the last year, friends of ours in europe as well as the united states have become engaged, some of our friends have become pregnant, some have given birth, we met some of our friend’s babies for the first time. we’ve been to a wedding between two 60 year olds, and met an elderly couple who were once high school sweethearts, then spent the next 50 years with no contact to each other, then in the autumn years of their lives, both of them having been widowed, they met again, less than a year ago and now they are married. an amazing story of renewal, fortitude and passion finally requited. at a party in sonoma, we watched the two of them dance with each other late into evening and thought to ourselves that this was something to aspire to.
we’ve been to many birthday parties. we’ve witnessed the vagaries of sickness and disease exact their price on the bodies of our friends, we’ve listen to our friends’ hardships and testified to their admirable endurance. there have been family dramas and family successes. i’m grateful that my immediate family is still here with me and that a.’s immediate family is still here with her.
we’ve been to our share of funerals and anniversaries of the passings of loved ones. i still remember vividly being with my grandmother on the last day of her life, watching her struggle to breath, talking to her as she lay in her deathbed, and then i buried her many days later and traversed the outer reaches of the sadness that my father most have felt for losing his mother.
yet the funeral brought the family closer together and in the aftermath of her passing, i can now say that i have more contact with all of my brothers than i have had in years past.
in the last year, since that accidental day in chicago, we’ve seen companies fall, we’ve heard stories of friends’ lose their jobs, and some of the circumstances have been heartless and vulgar. we’ve seen friends start new companies, receive recognition for their efforts, gain access through the doors opened by success and hard work.
i’ve seen stores open and others close. just as i was getting used to living one block away from abbot kinney boulevard, stroh’s finally says good-bye after all of these years. just as i was getting used to the idea that there was nothing to see on rose avenue, a wine bar opens that later becomes a staple of my social life. my god, even whole foods has come to venice. is this good? in small doses, yes.
in the mean time, the work goes on.
it has been an amazing time to be in the united states, to be in california. i’ve witnessed something that i thought i would never see, a change in government that i thought was not quite possible, and i am ever more optimistic that this country might one day join the rest of the world instead of standing apart from it, for better or worse.
in california, i still find myself walking outside the door from our home, stepping into the cool morning air, and having my breath taken away by the sight of the ocean, the mountains, the beauty of the afternoon light and the long shadows that it casts. the simple things that make my heart sing.
now i am one year older, one year closer to forty years old. the bells that ring in the death knells seem louder with every month, though i am hopeful that i have many many more years upon this planet.
i am ecstatic that i have a. in my life, that i have my friends, that i have new friends, that i still have my health, my optimism, my curiosity.
thank you, life, for giving me these things, for your generosity.
oh how i look forward to the year to come!
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